Feeling: Tired
Listening to: "Hailie's Song" by Eminem
Tasing: Nothing, and I'm hungry.


Okay, so maybe this isn't exactly a post. But in any case, I was going through some old files and found a blog that I put up a long time ago and subsequently deleted. I think I was talking about a guy that I was friends with before, although I can't be sure because it was so long ago.

In any case, here it is:

I've noticed that an adverse effect of growing up is actually growing up.

When you're a kid, you see things through different eyes. The world is bright, happy... trustworthy... and people have no faults.

It's so hard to grow up and realize that people aren't perfect. To be able to see faults in people you thought were ideal... to understand that there's no one in the world you really know, except yourself-- and even that, only rarely.
It's hard to find out things about friends that you've never wanted to know. Things, that no matter how much you like them, chip away your respect for them, piece by piece. Things that make you pull away from them, slowly, until you're no longer friends, and all that's left is a sadness, an emptiness, a longing for the friendship you once had but can never have again, because the person you thought you knew does not exist.

It's hard, when you thought you knew a person... when you wanted to believe that they were what you wanted them to be... to find out that they're not who you thought you knew. To find out that they do things you don't approve of... things that you can't possibly accept... things that will tear you apart because of your different values.
They say that friendship is thicker than blood. They say that it is the strongest bond a person could have with another.

To me, friendship is weak. I've had too many instances where friendships could not withhold a barrier, however small... too many instances where respect was lost and trust destroyed... too many instances, really, for me to remember how to believe.

I wonder if he regrets telling me what he did.

Natalie