Feeling: Sleepy
Listening to: The hum of my computer
Tasting: Cucumber

I had lots of things to say. I really did. I mean, I actually made a list of things I want to talk about here while I was sitting in math class. It was a short list, but it was a list.

And I still have that list somewhere. In fact, if I tried, I could probably remember it. It only had two topics on it.

But I'm too tired. I've spent the past three hours trying, unsuccessfully, to solve a math problem that makes absolutely no sense to me, and then the past half an hour making an outline for psychology. I have to make an outline based on our textbook, and I still have about twenty-five pages to go.

It's due tomorrow.

So is the math thing, but I'm afraid I've given up on it. I'm too tired to do this, and it makes no sense.

And I still have to read about 100 pages of Beowulf, and I want to sleep. Which doesn't excuse me from doing the psych outline.

Why can't it be Saturday??

Send me support emails here. I know you want to.

Natalie

Feeling: Sleepy
Listening to: My computer humming
Tasting: Nothing

Yes!

I have conquered the evil computer. I hve managed to post my blogs. Finally! Finally! Finally!

Yeah... you may have been able to guess that I've been having some problems with blogging. Um, I'm okay now. Really.

I had to change my template, but all's good. This one doesn't have a corny little star in the corner. It's not as "pretty", but it looks nicer anyway, I think.

What do you think of my template? Email me.

Natalie

Testing, testing, 1, 2, 3.... WHY didn't my last post get posted?

Felling: Frustrated
Listening to: My neighbors' TV. I can't make out the words, but I'm pretty sure it's Russian.
Tasting: Sunflower seeds and orange juice

So I'm trying to do my computer homework and I'm very, very confused. I'm asking a friend of mine, but she's about as confused as I am, so all we're managing to do is confuse each other even more. It's kind of sad, really. And I wish I could ask some guys from my class that know stuff, but even if they're online I'll feel to stupid to ask the questions I want to ask because I'm just so completely lost it's embarrassing. And I wish my class wasn't so full of people that know absolutely everything, but it is, so it's pretty much very sad.

I wish knowledge would just magically come to me. Maybe in my dreams. I've heard it's happened to people with Hebrew.

Yeah... going back to the wonderful world of C.

Wish me luck!

Natalie

Feeling: Tired
Listening to: "Hailie's Song" by Eminem
Tasing: Nothing, and I'm hungry.


Okay, so maybe this isn't exactly a post. But in any case, I was going through some old files and found a blog that I put up a long time ago and subsequently deleted. I think I was talking about a guy that I was friends with before, although I can't be sure because it was so long ago.

In any case, here it is:

I've noticed that an adverse effect of growing up is actually growing up.

When you're a kid, you see things through different eyes. The world is bright, happy... trustworthy... and people have no faults.

It's so hard to grow up and realize that people aren't perfect. To be able to see faults in people you thought were ideal... to understand that there's no one in the world you really know, except yourself-- and even that, only rarely.
It's hard to find out things about friends that you've never wanted to know. Things, that no matter how much you like them, chip away your respect for them, piece by piece. Things that make you pull away from them, slowly, until you're no longer friends, and all that's left is a sadness, an emptiness, a longing for the friendship you once had but can never have again, because the person you thought you knew does not exist.

It's hard, when you thought you knew a person... when you wanted to believe that they were what you wanted them to be... to find out that they're not who you thought you knew. To find out that they do things you don't approve of... things that you can't possibly accept... things that will tear you apart because of your different values.
They say that friendship is thicker than blood. They say that it is the strongest bond a person could have with another.

To me, friendship is weak. I've had too many instances where friendships could not withhold a barrier, however small... too many instances where respect was lost and trust destroyed... too many instances, really, for me to remember how to believe.

I wonder if he regrets telling me what he did.

Natalie