Feeling: Tired-er
Listening to: The computer has resorted to humming
Tasting: Nothing

Still writing my essay. I just had the urge to sign into Blogger again and say the following:

Ah-ha-HA! I feel evil.

Yeah, that was pretty much it. I think it may have something to do with the fact that it's 1:41a.m. cable-time and I have school tomorrow and an AP on Tuesday and am doing homework. Fun, fun.

I still feel evil.

Please, please, make my day. Click here. Please? I'm not above begging. Even if it turns me into a very annoying person.

Thanks. :0)

Natalie, otherwise known as the Evil One.

Feeling: Tired
Listening to: The computer making strange clicking sounds
Tasting: Carrots

So I seem to be in the mood for writing these past couple of days. I suppose in some ways the mood strikes me whenever I should be doing something else, like studying or writing essays, and that's really not very good at all, but I think I'll just take a couple of moments and write anyway. I haven't gotten any emails lately, which is why I am writing here instead of in an email to my friends-- I hate writing more than two emails without getting a reply. Petty, maybe, but that's me.

So I'm thinking that I start way too many paragraphs with "so"... but that's really not something I want to talk about here. I'll talk about my Psychology AP on Tuesday instead, and what I've been doing about it. I haven't been studying as much as I should have, but I was going over stuff now and I was just reviewing the biology aspect of psychology-- you know, how the brain functions and stuff, like what the cerebellum and the hippocampus and the amygdala and they hypothalamus do (keep your balance, make new explicit memories, control emotions and emotional memories, and maintain homeostatis & control the endocrine system, respectively). It's actually pretty interesting stuff, and it makes me wish that I had the memory to study it in detail.

I'm studying chapter 3 of 18, which isn't good, considering the fact that the chapters get longer and harder as I go along, and I've been studying for two days now and have school tomorrow and the AP on Tuesday. I definitely have to get cracking, and I still have to finish my essay. Like, yesterday. So I think that's what I'm going to go do now, although I'm not sure I have much to write and I'm not very excited about writing it.

Oh, well. A student's got to do what a student's got to do. (Who doesn't love Chucky?)

Going now. Please reply to this blog.

Natalie

Feeling: Tired
Listening to: Some Russian TV show my parents are watching in the background
Tasting: Nothing, and I'm hungry.

So I haven't posted here in ages. It's actually been last time than I thought-- April 4th wasn't that long ago-- but I haven't put up a real blog since February, and I figure it's about time. I think so many things have changed since February that I should come here at least once and put up a blog so that later on I will have at least some record of this time.

So, it's been a while. April has come and gone, with its insanity and its spring break and its college acceptance and rejection letters. I guess I was lucky in that I got more acceptance letters than I did rejection letters, but then the colleges that rejected me were better than those that accepted me. I think that maybe if I'm going to compare numbers, then the Ivy Leagues should at least have some sort of weighted average. Perhaps Ivies can count 2.5 more times than other colleges? But then I wanted to go to Princeton more than I wanted to go to Columbia, so shouldn't it count for more?

Well, I guess there's no point in involving math in this. If Columbia and Princeton didn't want me, I suppose it's their loss and I shouldn't worry about it. Although I am keeping my Princeton rejection letters for memories, which my friend thinks is crazy. She said that she was going to throw out her MIT rejection letter, and then one of us proposed burning it, and then I came up with the brilliant idea of getting the whole senior class together, arranging a big bonfire, and burning all of our rejection letters. I thought that it was a good idea for about a day and a half, until one of my friends told me at lunch that some people would have more rejection letters than others, and that would cause a problem. Ah, the wonderful competitive nature of my school. We'd be counting rejection letters, too.

So I finally mailed in my decision on April 30th, which was a day before the deadline. I have to call on Monday and make sure that they received my letter, because I would really not like to find out in a month that they didn't receive it and didn't reserve my place and that I'm actually not going to college and will work in McDonald's for the rest of my life.

Or not. But, you know, things can happen!

I gave in my photography project today. I came to school early again (7:25! Who comes to school at 7:25?) and worked in the darkroom before Hebrew (I was late again, two days in a row. The funny thing is that on both days I was in school earlier than I had ever been), and then during the two periods of Photography, but I didn't finish putting everything together until lunch. And even that was after I spent about two hours pasting my photos very neatly on a bunch of hole-punched white paper. I involved a ruler and tape and scissors and everything. And it was kind of sad to hand it in when I finished, because I wanted to bring it home and admire it for a little while, but it was due today and at least it's done.

I also had a fragment due today, and I did it, but I really didn't like what I wrote. And this is supposedly supposed to be a part of the first chapter of a novel that I'm going to write for my final project, but I really don't see it going anywhere. The short story was hard enough for me. Writing a novel, even if it's the first chapter, should be pretty difficult.

Wow. I haven't written here in a long time, and I can't say that it's as enjoyable as it used to be. Maybe it's because I've been writing a lot more lately and I don't quite feel the need to use this particular place to vent my thoughts; maybe it's because I've been writing so much that I don't really want to do writing outside of when I have to; maybe it's just that I don't have anything interesting to write about. Whatever it is, I feel kind of bored with what I'm writing now, which I guess is the downside to taking a fiction writing class-- I've become a lot more critical of my writing, and rightly so. I don't enjoy writing things like this anymore because it feels like I'm not working to the best of my ability and that I should try harder to make this more interesting and to write it better, but then again it's just Blogger and I'm not sure I want to work that hard at it. Or maybe it's just old-fashioned senioritis.

Senioritis is my excuse for everything. Why didn't I do my homework? Why didn't I fold my clothes? Why was I late to class? Why didn't I was the dishes? Oh, it's all senioritis. It's this incredibly fast-spreading disease that comes along at the end of every senior year and spreads, quickly, infection all the seniors with amazing speed and intensity. It's promoted by rest, so seniors that come back after Spring Break tend to be more lazy and more disorganized and even less inclined to do work than they were in the beginning of the term. Some managed to pull themselves together for a short while in order to take some APs and write some scholarship essays, but those are people whose bodies and minds are very strong, and they should be admired for fighting this almost inconquerable disease. I just hope that it goes away by the time we start college, because the amount of work I'm doing now will definitely not be acceptable.

And sure, now that I've complained about how lazy I am and how I don't want to write, I can't stop. It's the same problem that I have with my stories that I write for English (or one story, singular, but still): I tend to start and never finish because I can't force myself to get to the end. Nothing happens in my stories, and so they just go on and on until I exceed my word limit, get very tired, or am called away to do something that is, at least in someone's eyes, more important.

So here I am, still writing, because even though I should be called away to make sushi, my mom hasn't called me yet and so I'm sitting here, being lazy. No one has called me, either, which is a blessing in some cases and a bad thing in others, and so here I am, writing this, uninterrupted. There isn't even anything intersting on TV.

And yet I really don't feel like focusing on one particular topic to write about. I was thinking about writing about what happened in school today, and I suppose there is some material to write about that can be considered interesting, but I just don't want to. I'd much rather just be sitting here and rambling until my fingers get very tired like they are doing now, and then I guess I'll go and do something else that's entirely useless because it's a Friday night, and, try as I might, I just can't force myself to do anything productive.

Okay, I suppose I'm off. I'm going to find some food, because I haven't eaten in a while and I do have to finish this at some point. And why not now?

Okay, and now I shall be leaving. Please reply if you have the time.

Thanks for reading.

Natalie